I am but

A conduit in this world,

A portal to the nether realm

Where culinary ideals lurk

Foisted upon this world

By meager minds

And stronger stomachs,

An instinct we have honed

Since time immemorial.

Join me in this kitchen, won’t you?

The purchase of this can

The work I did to earn

The money to put on the counter

That is slide across, slipped into a tray

Exchanged for this good

Exchanged for services.

So much sodium

In one rectangle,

That it makes my throat dry,

The jalapeño smell

with my truffle salt

Hits my nose

Like the fake meat.

The can sits

Watching me on the windowsill

My guardian

My angel

My protector

Never fading

Never dying.

Even in my darkest hour

When my hunger reigns

And my mind falters

And I stumble through the kitchen

Heart rent askew by the night

The humble can remains.

I light the stove

Pour oil

Onions, garlic, peppers,

Cut down into cubes.

The sizzle as they hit the pan

Soothes my soul as I cut the meat-cube.

Pink flesh wriggles

As it slides across the cutting board

To fall into the pan.

More seasonings

More oil,

The careful movement of the pan

Seeking equilibrium

In the chaotic fire underneath.

Water boils

Cheap rice noodles,

Sold in cakes

And cracked in half,

Thrown into water

Seasoned with garlic

And curry powder

And black pepper, ground fresh.

The smell hits my nose

Like a tidal wave.

Salivation,

Need,

Hunger.

It begins to boil.

The meat begins to sizzle in the pan,

Small chunks burnt and glazed.

I scrape,

Fond torn away from its home

To mix into my creation.

Let no aspect of this meal,

Of this worship,

Escape

The vortex of my stomach.

My foot taps impatiently,

The smell turning my sensory receptors up to overdrive,

Each moment without

The delicious meat

Sliding down my ferverous gullet

Is a moment wasted in the time between meals

I hunger

Like a beast chained in the dark

My eyes wide and unbidden,

To stare and seek and need

Like nothing you have ever met before.

I am the eidolon of my own needs,

The rubicon of my own sustenance.

To buy this cann’d meat

Is an act of sacred self-love.

I pile the meal

From pan to pot to plate,

Preparing.

Water streams forth to clean my tools.

I soap and dry them,

Their task done, their mission complete

Alighting them to their correct home

On the racks and shelves.

The meal is ready.

I sit

At the table,

Legs crossed,

Running my fingers across the silverware.

I can see each element,

Carefully burnt to the point

Of highest crunch

With highest flavor

And perfect texture.

My spoon slides forth

Cupping noodles and salty meat

The cubes crispy and moist with oil.

I slip it

Into my mouth

And chew.

An explosion of flavor rocks my palate,

And I am in bliss.

I can feel salt drip down my throat

As I grin and chew and swallow.

What else is there to life

When this simple act

And this simple pleasure

Is wont

To defile me?

Avalon Valentine

Spam Slam

I am but

A conduit in this world,

A portal to the nether realm

Where culinary ideals lurk

Foisted upon this world

By meager minds

And stronger stomachs,

An instinct we have honed

Since time immemorial.

Join me in this kitchen, won’t you?

The purchase of this can

The work I did to earn

The money to put on the counter

That is slide across, slipped into a tray

Exchanged for this good

Exchanged for services.

So much sodium

In one rectangle,

That it makes my throat dry,

The jalapeño smell

with my truffle salt

Hits my nose

Like the fake meat.

The can sits

Watching me on the windowsill

My guardian

My angel

My protector

Never fading

Never dying.

Even in my darkest hour

When my hunger reigns

And my mind falters

And I stumble through the kitchen

Heart rent askew by the night

The humble can remains.

I light the stove

Pour oil

Onions, garlic, peppers,

Cut down into cubes.

The sizzle as they hit the pan

Soothes my soul as I cut the meat-cube.

Pink flesh wriggles

As it slides across the cutting board

To fall into the pan.

More seasonings

More oil,

The careful movement of the pan

Seeking equilibrium

In the chaotic fire underneath.

Water boils

Cheap rice noodles,

Sold in cakes

And cracked in half,

Thrown into water

Seasoned with garlic

And curry powder

And black pepper, ground fresh.

The smell hits my nose

Like a tidal wave.

Salivation,

Need,

Hunger.

It begins to boil.

The meat begins to sizzle in the pan,

Small chunks burnt and glazed.

I scrape,

Fond torn away from its home

To mix into my creation.

Let no aspect of this meal,

Of this worship,

Escape

The vortex of my stomach.

My foot taps impatiently,

The smell turning my sensory receptors up to overdrive,

Each moment without

The delicious meat

Sliding down my ferverous gullet

Is a moment wasted in the time between meals

I hunger

Like a beast chained in the dark

My eyes wide and unbidden,

To stare and seek and need

Like nothing you have ever met before.

I am the eidolon of my own needs,

The rubicon of my own sustenance.

To buy this cann’d meat

Is an act of sacred self-love.

I pile the meal

From pan to pot to plate,

Preparing.

Water streams forth to clean my tools.

I soap and dry them,

Their task done, their mission complete

Alighting them to their correct home

On the racks and shelves.

The meal is ready.

I sit

At the table,

Legs crossed,

Running my fingers across the silverware.

I can see each element,

Carefully burnt to the point

Of highest crunch

With highest flavor

And perfect texture.

My spoon slides forth

Cupping noodles and salty meat

The cubes crispy and moist with oil.

I slip it

Into my mouth

And chew.

An explosion of flavor rocks my palate,

And I am in bliss.

I can feel salt drip down my throat

As I grin and chew and swallow.

What else is there to life

When this simple act

And this simple pleasure

Is wont

To defile me?

Avalon Valentine

Spam Slam

Avalon Valentine has been writing poetry in the Hudson Valley for almost ten years, focusing on what matters most to her; transgender brainbenders, anarchic politics, and the desperate desires of all humans.